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T. E. Lawrence, The Mint
PART II
11: NOW
AND THEN
Things
are indeed gentler for us. Tonight even there was a revival of
sky-larking in the hut, prolonged after lights out by three
irresponsibles, one of whom owned Fane's shriking Cockney voice.
Admirable is such unruly energy after the hard day. However, tomorrow
we'll all help pay for it; the orderly sergeant banged into the hut on
his return from staff parade and hushed us rudely. That means a
collective report, and the hatefulness of being punished. What attracted
him as much as the noise was our flaring chimney. Fane had piled coal on
the stove just at ten o'clock (when, orders say, fires are to be drawn)
and now its red top is clattering and its red pipe roaring with the
forcible flames. By their changing light I'm note-making, very late, but
without comment: for my sleeplessness has become a hut-joke.
They
are wrong who imagine that troops today are violent livers. They take
nothing soberly enough for that. Twenty years ago - or seventeen years,
my limit of direct experience - they were indeed brutal. Then every
incident ended in dispute and every dispute either in the ordeal of
fists (a forgotten art, today) or in a barrack-court-martial whose
sentences were too often massbullying of anyone unlike the mass. Of one
unit little stronger than our flight I cannot remember a parade during
three months without a discoloured eye. Usually five or six men bore
fighting damages. This R.A.F. is a girls' school beside it.
Even
our manners are very good: - if our base labelling of one another be
discounted. It is not rude when you call him a bloody cunt, upon no
grounds at all. He'll only throw lying bastard at you, back. These
stingless forms of speech are the free-trade of equals. My fastidious
throat chokes over oaths and obscenities: therefore I cannot speak very
friendly to their ears: and my not answering them in kind debars them
from cursing me. So in small-talk (which besides I've never had) there's
an artificial constraint between us. I hate being helped and make their
helping me an ungrateful labour. Yet with these exceptions we're on a
level and understanding friendship. I find in them an answering
male-kindness and natural spark, which makes me curiously safe with
them. To live in Hut 4 is to have the feet on solid earth.
Our
tangible life has a muscled nudity, joined to such candour of impulse as
would (were it coherent, deliberate and expressed) properly be called
absolute. But it is dumb. The hut's speech-range is Saxon, and abstract
words come from their lips rare and uneven, stinking of print. I suspect
that these fluent gestures, the variety of tone, their ceaseless
extravagances of body flow in part from verbal poverty and relieve just
those emotions which sophisticated man purges, uttered or unuttered,
into phrase.
We use
each other's things, if we have need, without asking leave. That is
common sense. He does my toothbrush no harm that can be felt or seen or
smelt: and what other criteria exist? After Tuesday and the emptiness of
all pockets, anyone with weekend relics of cigarettes or coppers shares
them out naturally or sees them shared. After pay-time on Friday a
return is made; more or less, as regards cigarettes: exactly, as regards
money. There is no begging: no need for it. Who dare refuse when it may
be his necessity next week? In the repayment of a money loan there is
charming shyness and punctuality. The precise sum is slipped into your
hand, while your eyes and his sedulously avoid meeting or seeing it.
Half-inching is venial, in certain lines of goods: - issues articles,
cleaning gear, sealed-pattern equipment, or consumable stores, like
soap. Personal kit is borrowed with the high hand (till found out) but
not stolen. The victim stamps about raging and the assistance covers him
with loud noises of horror - every man of it, except the guilty one,
enviously meaning to do the same tomorrow if he can. Yet you help
yourself only to fill a deficiency, not to hoard. It's a question of
making use. Also none of us has any property we love.
  
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