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T. E. Lawrence to H. S. Ede
Ozone Hotel,
Bridlington,
Yorks
3.I.35
No: the address is
not spoof. I have been here for some months doing my last R.A.F. job,
overseeing the refit of ten of our boats in a great garage in the
(empty) town. A summer seaside resort is an uncanny place in mid-winter.
The refit is due to be completed by the end of February; and early in
March I 'get my ticket'. It's like a blank wall beyond which I cannot
even imagine. Exactly what leisure is like, whether it will madden me or
suit me, what it means to wake up every day and know there is no
compulsion to get out of bed... it's no good. When it comes, I shall try
to deal with it; but now, beforehand, I can only say that 1 wish it had
not to be.
The assets are my
cottage in Dorsetshire (Clouds Hill, Moreton, Dorset... you have the
address just right) 25s. a week, a bike. If to that I find myself in
possession of a quiet mind, then I shall be fortunate. I think 1 have to
'draw' this mind when I draw my discharge; and dare only hope to find it
full and quiet.
. . .
Yes, we must meet
this year. I shall trip up the stairs some fine or wet day and discover
you sitting by a veiled fish; with five Kit Woods for background as
though I had never left the Air Force. But I shall try not to come till
my feet are steady again.
Isn't it odd that a sober man should feel so, merely because his term of
service has run out? I have passed all these twelve years hoping that an
end would not come.
Thank you for the
renewed diary: but after March, time will be just one of the things for
which I have no use. Space, now; space still keeps its meaning
Yours
T.E.S.
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